miniature snowman.

above image from here.

this morning, i woke up annoyed. i don't know why. maybe it was because our room was incredibly hot. maybe i slept wrong. maybe the weird ass dreams i had all weekend finally got to me. regardless, i was in one of those early morning monday moods that translate into "stay the EFF out of my way." which was good, considering john and jack were both sleeping when i awoke and started getting ready for work.

i was looking to start a fight with someone and it just so happened to be my husband. so before i left for work, i started bringing up things that annoyed me. like why in god's name had he put away the stainless steel stock pot without washing it? and why, when i had asked him about this, had he said, "oh yeah, i intended to put away a dirty pot because i was going to use it to make popcorn soon enough so why clean it?" and why wasn't he completing the basement remodel in a more orderly, planned out fashion? and why did he leave his socks and shoes in front of the recliner again? and why hadn't he gone to bed earlier the night before because i always leave for work at the same time? rise and shine time can't be that much of a surprise.

he sat there looking at me, as i continued on this diatribe, not really saying anything, looking sleepy and looking confused.

which annoyed me more.

so i left.

i generally don't like leaving like that. because, as i always remind him and my brothers and sisters: what if something happened and this was the last time we ever saw each other? would i really want my last words to him to be "and why aren't you finishing the basement in a more orderly way?" if my dear friend whitney still worked at this office, i would have grabbed a cup of coffee, marched down to her office and bitched for twenty minutes. i would have stewed and rolled my eyes and gotten even more angry.

but instead, i tried to forget about it, drank some coffee and tried to accomplish stuff. when it came time for lunch, i headed home. i shared a sandwich with my son, cooked some felt food with him in his kitchen and read him a book while john shoveled part of our driveway. and when it was time for me to leave to return to work, i went outside to get into my car, and on the roof was a tiny snowman. a tiny snowman with very disproportionately sized male genitalia. i started laughing and crying, touched, yet again, by my husband's infinite patience and sense of humor when i'm being a heinous bitch.

i picked up the little snowman and moved him to the sidewalk, and then called john. "i love you," i said. "and i'm sorry."

all i can say is that i'm so grateful that my husband always remembers the importance and meaning of the words above, even when i don't.