Wednesday, April 21, 2010

on shooting an 80's work-out video.

when i am at work engrossed in research or drafting documents or the like, i am rarely, if ever, checking out what's going on in the hallways.  i am aware of the "background noise," people talking, phones ringing, and the occasional noises associated with a printer or copier malfunction.  generally, though, i'm in my own world. i have a real mad case of ADD and if i let myself concentrate on what's going on outside, i reduce the productivity going on inside.

for some reason on monday, my eyes happened to catch the sight of our runner, as she scampered past my office.  i thought i glimpsed spandex work-out capris and a t-shirt.  and really, i guess you'd have to know the atmosphere of my office in order to fully comprehend the potential ramifications of what i thought i saw.  suffice it to say, i do not work in a law office where it is appropriate for anyone to wear spandex work-out attire.  i brushed it off as a mirage, maybe even a little reminder that i should probably hit up the gym after work, and got back to my endless researching.  but then!  i saw her!  again!  in the same outfit!  there was no denying it.  runner was wearing some black spandexy capris, and a teal t-shirt.

my very first thought was, "oh my god, is she for real?"  followed quickly by an "are we shooting a firm-wide 80's work-out video?"  which brought up a whole host of other problems.  can we legally even shoot this thing?  could we market it, or would that somehow run afoul of our ethical duties as attorneys?  i mean, my mind is racing, my afternoon is shot, and let's get back to the real issue.  do some college kids actually think its appropriate to show up to their part-time job at a professional office wearing such clothes?  this girl, this woman, really, applied for this job, was offered the position and receives a paycheck in exchange for her efforts.  or lack thereof, as the case may be.

the fact that this scenario struck a chord with me is saying something because i would consider myself to be pretty easy going and liberal as far as office politics and procedures are concerned.  but even in my youth-induced hipness, even i had a slight issue with the lack of professional decorum exhibited with this outfit.  i don't think that business casual is too much to ask of an employee.  and really, if you're paying an attorney by the hour, do you want to show up to the office for an appointment and be greeted by miss richard simmons herself?  we're all busy and i guess maybe it is difficult to find 60 seconds between work and the gym to change clothes, but i bet with a little extra planning, it's definitely possible!

i'll keep you guys updated about any potential work-out video developments, though...

on tying up my husband.

have any of you ladies (or my male following, if it exists) ever experimented with tying up your partner?  in fact, the hodge podge lodge is NOT venturing into new S & M territory, but indeed, i have spent the past 16+ hours tethering up my husband.  i have found that the decorative ladder we own is perfect for this purpose.  (thanks mom, for the multi-purpose gift!)

it's been a rather eventful past few days around here, but i am happy to report that the mister is recovering well post-surgery and, except for the general annoyances one might expect when spending hours tethered to an antique ladder, is in generally amicable spirits.  on friday, i received a phone call at work, and it began the way most phone calls i dread do.  "don't panic, but..."  i was prepared to hear the usual... "one of the dogs did  x to your y" or "the car was making a funny noise so i took it in and we now owe $350 in repair bills" or "i had to buy an entire keg of miller lite rather than a 6 pk. because it was such a good deal," but instead, i was regaled with an epic tale of a hiking adventure gone wrong.  the full details are still emerging, but from what i gather, my husband and my brother were hiking on a trail at a park near our house, and there may have been some rock-climbing involved.  there was also an unfortunate tumble, and some nasty bones breaking through the skin on john's hand.

i met my husband at the ER shortly afterwards, and he was pale, basically writhing in pain, and covered in scratches and dirt.  upon surveying the damage, i decided we were all lucky that he hadn't broken his back or been paralyzed.  a few x-rays and some much needed morphine shots to the IV later, it was determined that he had fractured two of his metacarpals in several places and would need surgery the following week.  they bandaged him up as best they could for the weekend, and sent us home with some vicodin.   oh joy!  a weekend of trying to comfort a very uncomfortable man.  if that wasn't exactly how i wanted to spend a few days!  and now, i'm not being snippy at the thought of caring for the hubs.  he is an excellent caregiver when i'm sick or hungover or just feeling like i need to be pampered.  but making someone homemade soup and refreshing a ginger ale glass is a little easier than trying to keep the pain of a man with a broken hand at bay.  i'm a problem solver, and i was sort of frustrated as it seemed unlikely i could do much to help the situation.

which was pretty much true.  we spent the weekend watching tv and movies.  i also spent a lot of time trying to convince him to think positively and ignore the pain, all the while counting down the minutes to the next time i could give him some more vicodin.  he was a real trooper.

slowly the days passed and yesterday, the day of his surgery arrived.  i guess i wasn't thinking it was that big of a deal, but seeing him all dressed in a surgical gown, an IV in his arm, and hearing them talk about power of attorney and life-sustaining treatment was a little scary, even though it was just routine, procedurally required "stuff."  we spent the better part of six hours at the hospital, but everything ended up fine, and the doctor said the surgery went perfectly. he'll have a cast for approximately 4 weeks, and after some physical therapy, he should be good as new.

but anyway, after we got home last night, i tried to decide how i was going to follow the doctor's orders about keeping that arm elevated to prevent swelling.  we decided on the ladder option, and once i got over the whole tying my husband up thing, it seemed to work out pretty excellently.

john's mom likes to tell the story about his tonsil surgery when he was 5.  when he woke up after surgery, she asked him what he wanted, saying she'd get him anything he asked for.  he thought a minute, then asked for "chips."  true to form, yesterday he requested sweet chili doritos.  i headed out to get the chips and some other provisions, and my neighbor stopped me in the yard to see how john was doing.  "oohhh, great," i replied.  "i just tied him up and i'm about to head out for some pizza and supplies."  just another day at the hodge podge lodge.