sister, sister (wives).

are you noticing a theme here? that i'm sort of reality-tv obsessed? damn you, DVR and the ease with which i can fit all these shows into my late night gotta-get-5-million-projects-done-commencing-the-moment-after-jack-shuts-his-eyes routine. we are t-minus 4 days from our big party, and i am pleasantly surprised at how close to being on track i am. last night when i got home from work, i started talking excitedly to my mom (john's out of town til wednesday) about everything i was going to accomplish that night. she became concerned and remarked that i seemed like i had drank too much coffee and not slept nearly enough. both of which are true. but anyway, mom, i totally did get it all finished. while i caught up on my sunday night recordings.

first up, the real housewives of new jersey reunion special, part 1, while i sewed custom length linen and burlap table covers. (i adore this layered look,

and i became a fiend for anything burlap once the weather dropped below 90. first image is from pottery barn, and the next is from etsy.)

ok, first of all, what the hell happened between teresa and everyone??? no one has elaborated on the incident that occurred during the recent filming of season 4 (except to say that that's why jaqueline was not present), but i am literally DYING to know. for the real, yo. some other observations: i do not know what was up with caroline manzo's hair. the shade of red was off for me, and even though i thought she looked much cuter this season, girlfriend was not looking so hot. speaking of looking "hot," while i never noticed this before it was pointed out during the reunion, teresa does have a weirdly small forehead. nothing that shocking was really revealed, except that teresa has totally pissed everyone off and her position is that any slightly good thing that has happened to any of them was the result of teresa and/or joe juwwww-diiiice. this is sort of like the chickens coming home to roost for me because i have NEVER liked teresa, have always thought of her as a self-centered b****, and now, dear friends, i am vindicated by andy cohen & co.

after finishing my table runners, i moved on to making some chalkboard frames (like this one from here)

so i could organize and label food on the table for the party. and for this project, i decided to catch up with kyle, kim, camille & the gang. truth be told, i don't know if it was the oil based primer fumes, lisa's over-the-top wedding planner or sheer exhaustion, but i just couldn't really get into this episode. can we please stop talking about the peepee at the party incident? if you don't know what i'm referring to, please note: brandi's son whipped out his goods at a barbeque and went pee in the yard. is it really that big of a deal?!? maybe as the mother of a little boy, i have a different perspective (though jack is not yet whipping out his goods in public, thank you very much), but my brothers used to pee outside and i know our friends' kids use the yard as their own personal restroom in the summer, and to me, this just seems to be another perk of being a guy (besides the envious metabolism, of course). but yes, i agree, there is a time and a place for peeing in the great outdoors, and probably at the park or at a barbeque are not ideal locations. and i agree, maybe a tactful convo with the wee one about his weewee would be in order. but to crucify this mom, as if her kid was doing crystal meth in the bathroom and she was turning a blind eye, sort of ridiculous, don't you think? and speaking of crystal meth in the bathroom, thank you, brandi, for making the accusation that i've been screaming at my tv set for months. SOMETHING is up with kim richards, and if she's not doing crystal meth, then she's doing something else. watching her is like watching the first 20 minutes of intervention. a total train wreck.

and finally, i rounded out the crafting with sunday's sister wives. i'm sorry, but this show intrigues the heck out of me. what with kody's "i think i'm fabio with my luscious locks," the tension and jealousy between the wives so thick it's like another character on the show, and the weird ass children's names (madison, aspyn, savannah - what, polygamists are against using baby name books and prefer, instead, to consult thy holy atlas?), i just can't look away. in this episode kody & his harem trek back to wyoming to meet with some high school friends and finally introduce himself (publicly) as a "polyg." highlights of the show included kody's hs bff telling him (to his face) that, essentially, he was going to burn in hell for having multiple wives. kody's hs acquaintances revealed that they had always assumed kody was gay. finally, kody and robyn prepare for the 17th brown child, who will be named solomon. you have to hand it to kody. even after having two complete hockey teams (and then some) worth of kids, he's still able to act eager and excited for the latest one. and that, my friends, takes talent. talent and time, which surely are limited since kody has to spend so much time raking his fingers through his sadly thinning blonde locks. to be honest, though, i could use myself some sister wives this week. one could finish the second coat of paint in the dining room, one could re-cover the two remaining chairs in the dining room set and one could totally get to cleaning and organizing all the junk that's "landed" in the spare bedroom. maybe these polygs have the right idea. who wouldn't love a few more women to gang up on your husband and convince him just how wrong he is? i mean, damn! think of the odds. i'd never lose an argument with some sister wife backing!

ok, consensus: i watch too much tv, i love burlap too much and i'm stretched a wee bit too thin. come saturday, it will all be worth it, however!

xo, steph