NEWS you can USE.

i've been neglecting the ole blog here, and while i could make up some dramatic stories to explain my absence, the long and short of it is that i've been reallllly reallllly reaaaaallly busy.  and when i wasn't busy, i was lazy.  so here we are.

over the course of the past few weeks, i've learned a number of things (the entire list of which is much too long to post here), but i figured i'd share a few tidbits.

did you know that white paint under your fingernails looks like an expensive french manicure from a distance?  well, it does.  so get down with your bad self and semi-gloss up your trim if you're into that two birds, one stone type thing.

did you know that 8 1/2 month old babies could flip their legs over the sides of their cribs and try to escape?  well, they can.  jack's crib is now on it's lowest setting.  i'm telling you -- he is a trouble-makin' adventurer, and we are going to have our hands full.  i suspect this is poetic justice considering all of my husband's shennanigans throughout his childhood, adolescent and now adult years.

did you know that farrah on mtv's teen mom got a boob job?  i'm still reeling.  in the immortal words of my friend irene, what the devil?  the best part is that sweet, naive, misguided farrah really and truly convinced herself that the boob job was not just cosmetic surgery, but rather an investment in her future as a model.  'cuz, like, she's totally going places, like as soon as her chest like, heals, you guys.  but hey, who am i to judge?  afterall, i'm the one glued to my telveision screen for the approximately 47 minutes that the events of her life are playing out like a soap opera before me.  if only jack were a bit older... "bring me my ice cream!  mama's watchin' her stories...." 

ok, ok, this post is getting away from me.  sometime soon i do plan to share a real update on where i've been and what i know (veer off course with me for a moment: remember that SATC episode where carrie and aiden are living together in her apartment, and she's wearing that crazy outfit and she sees her neighbor outside, who informs her about delayed moving plans?  brace yourself partner!  i been outside and what's up is old lightning rod next door informs me that she will not be leaving... for THREE WEEKS!  and then carrie and aiden dance around, jumping up and down, while aiden moans f*ck! f*ck! what the f*ck are we gonna f*cking do now?  well, that's my go to scene when things are not going my way.  i totally pull an aiden shaw right there in the middle of whatever crisis arises... whether in my kitchen, an aisle at lowe's, my backyard or, to be completely honest, in my office.)

anyway, over the course of the past two months, lots has taken place.  jack has teeth (as in plural chompers!), our bedrooms are painted, we dabbled in some wall bashing and the house is still standing and my sister got hitched.  i will share the juicy details of all these events sometime soon, i promise!

hope you're enjoying your summer!
xoxo, steph