free to a good home.

i will admit, i like to peruse my local craigslist ads to see what sorts of things people are selling/giving away/etc. i'm always hopeful that i might stumble upon some great deal or some nice piece of furniture that i could turn into a treasure with a good sanding and nice coat of paint. however, over the last few weeks, i have become disenchanted with craigslist dubuque. people are delusional when it comes to placing accurate values on their for sale stuff. are you kidding me? you think i'm going to pay $35 for that cheap ass black tv stand that you bought at wal-mart for $29.99? the accompanying descriptions are as horrifying as the inaccurate prices. "sturdy wood cabinet with nice finish. would be perfect in a bedroom or office. $500 obo." it turns out the cabinet is actually faux wood with a dingy veneer (probably cracked and scratched) that's warped and falling over. the best is when a blurry, unhelpful picture accompanies the ad, and the seller apologizes with a "sorry for the picture quality. piece is much better in person. a must-see!"

but my personal, all-time favorite craigslist dubuque ad up to this point is this one i found under the "free" link:

"Medium-Large litter pan with scooper, both clean an used for a very short time. Email me if interested at ***** at gmail.com and leave information for pickup time/day, I live on Rhomberg near Dairy Queen."


now, don't get me wrong. i love a good deal, and nothing's better than a good deal if it isn't something absolutely FREE! but... who is placing this ad? and who is responding to it? if you can't afford a plastic litterpan and scooper, i ask you: do you really think you should own a cat?

but, there's really no need to worry your pretty little head about litterpans and poop scoopers. instead, feast your eyes on these adorable little guys!

as the ad says, they'd be the PERFECT decor at a wedding reception! hear that, future mrs. rhino??? or mama shaklee? maybe you guys should ditch whatever design elements you were envisioning. i'd be happy to front you the $10 if you want me to pick up these little guys for use at your receptions!

now, here's a query. how much would you pay for an empty bottle of booze? well, apparently the market in dubuque says $10! nevermind that this enterprise idea makes me a little mad thinking about all the extra money i could have made back in college... check out this ad.

"I am selling a homemade glow in the dark bottle of Admiral Nelson Rum. I drank it, made it and no longer need it. It is great for party decoration, it glows in the dark and will be the HIGHLIGHT of your party or social gathering! Really, the drink cost me like 25$ so this is a great deal! Text for more info or pics. Buyer responsible for shipping. Happy Sales!"

hmmm, if you really wanted a glow-in-the-dark empty booze bottle, wouldn't you just go buy the alcohol, drink it, then make it yourself? i mean, are there actually people out there who would consider purchasing said bottle AND paying the shipping charges? if so, PLEASE direct these individuals to me. i have lots of interesting things they might want to buy. empty soup cans, used dryer sheets, old candle containers. the possibilities are endless, i suppose.