Wednesday, January 26, 2011

on peeping toms and indecent exposures.

i know, i know, i said i wasn't going to talk about breastfeeding anymore.  but i couldn't resist sharing this anecdote.  yesterday, i had to travel to a tiny town in wisconsin to attend the depositions of two clients.  i knew i was going to be in the courthouse for several hours, and decided i should pump ahead of time.  the courthouse was located smack dab in the middle of the town square, so i drove around looking for a remote parking lot where i could get down to business.  i found a deserted "shriner's library" that appeared desolate.  not a soul around.  i whip out my lady parts, hook my pump up and go to town.  i happen to glance to my left... and see an elderly lady peering at my inquisitively. 

now when i say elderly lady, don't conjure up images of a sweet little grandma, the kind who would give you a hug, a warm cookie and a glass of milk and ask "how your day was, dear."  oh no.  picture a wild eyed, wild haired lady, who might take up residence in those abandoned row houses shown in HBO's "the wire."  for the real, yo.  she hops out of battered red pinto-type car, walks as close as she can to the passenger side of my car, and stares in at me.  (yes, this is actually happening). 

and then, out of nowhere, the parking lot of the shriner's library comes alive.  there are elderly folks all over the place, carrying armloads of books and walking toward the door.  i'm trying to dodge the creepy looks from homeless pinto driver by hiding under my coat, but the heat's on full blast, and i'm getting so hot, i'm feeling like i'm going to pass out.  i glare back at the peeper, and she gives me a weird look, but at least backs up a few steps. 

i'm thinking, "is this for real?"  and all i can do is laugh.  of course i would happen to pick the busiest, most happening parking lot in this town to expose my boobs to a homeless lady.  as i'm finishing up, i start to think about something a speaker at a recent continuing legal ed conference said.  he was talking about our ethical obligations as attorneys and how breaking the law means forfeiting your license.  and i wonder, if i got a ticket for indecent exposure on account of this whole incident, how exactly would i explain this to the board of attorney regulation?  because i totally don't think i'd be able to talk about it without cracking a huge smile.

thoughts?   just another day in the life.

1 comment:

  1. i LOVE this story! if the day were ever to come that you should be charged with "indecent exposure," this feminist will have some words with the court of law. i could offer an expert witness testimony! you could be the catalyst for a breast-feeding rights movement. (that kinda already exists, but hey, we can coin our own movement). let's make history, steph!