Sunday, December 5, 2010

on getting stuff done.

back when i was pregnant, i liked to talk a big line about what i was going to do while on maternity leave.  i had dreams of all the crafts i'd accomplish, all the christmas goodies i'd bake, and all the holiday outings i'd attend.  my mom suggested that my time off was not necessarily going to be a vacation, and that perhaps i was being a little naive or maybe overly ambitious about the first few weeks of motherhood.  i dismissed these ideas; i was the epitome of over-achiever.  of course i would do all these things and more.  afterall, a never-ending "to do" list is just part of who i am.

well, who am i anymore?  as i look around my living room, i'm slightly disgusted by the stack of mail, breast pump accessories and unfolded laundry strewn about.  on the other hand, i showered today, so actually, it's been a good day thus far.  i guess mom was right.  maternity leave has not been exactly what i was planning.  but as my mom said yesterday, "you've always had to figure things out for yourself."  which is true.

now don't go thinking that i'm not loving motherhood thus far.  because i totally am.  but it's so weird how everything has changed so drastically in such a small amount of time.  i have been jack's mama for a little over 5 weeks now, and in some ways, i can't remember myself before he was here.  but of course that seems ridiculous.  i can vaguely remember what it was like to be able to run to target to peruse the aisles for things i didn't need without a care in the world, without the constant glancing at my watch in a panic ("does he need to be fed?  changed?  i need to get back home right away.")  i can sort of remember being able to eat with both hands.  i remember being able to get into my bed, lay head on pillow and sleep contently for 6, 7 or even 8 hours at a time.  (ok, very vaguely.  very, very vaguely.)

but, anyway, they say life is what happens when you're busy making other plans.  and as cliche as it sounds, it's so true.  just when i was feeling as uncomfortable as i'd ever felt in my life, preoccupied with nesting to the n'th degree and worrying about a million things and the aforementioned never-ending to do list, my water broke, and this tiny little being came into the world and just... changed everything.  my outlook on life, the width of my hips, you know, just everything.

we spent the first few weeks in a haze, albeit a blissful, sleep-deprived, what the hell am i doing and who let me leave the hospital with this tiny man haze.  but the fog is lifting, folks, and we are emerging.  mama has strapped on her babybjorn, and productivity has begun increasing exponentially around here.  we actually assembled the christmas tree, strung the lights and hung the ornaments!  i am caught up on laundry (for the time being; try not to blink too fast)!  the dishwasher has been emptied!  and... (drumroll please) jack has been sleeping 5.5-7 hours per night, every night for the past week.  you'd be surprised at the motivation a little extra shut-eye can bring to a person.

so... anyway, instead of doing what the old me would have done (spend every waking moment trying to get as much done as possible), the new me is going to spend today celebrating my recent productivity and the accomplishments of the past five weeks....

from this,
to this.

we've come a long way, baby!


  1. A wonderful post as always sister. Thankfully we can go through it together and learn from each other. I love the last picture. You're a wonderful, beautiful mother. ; )

  2. This was such a wonderful post Steph. It's such a whirlwind those first couple of weeks and you captured that perfectly.