things about Pinterest...

that annoy me.... part i of what may become a series.

first off, let's just get this out there.  i like pinterest a lot.  it has inspired many recipes, home decor ideas and they-will-never-happen-but-i-can-totally-dream photoshoots and birthday parties.  pinterest has helped motivate me to clean, organize and decorate when i might have otherwise laid on the couch.  for that, thank you, pinterest.

it is not without its faults, however, and today i will highlight one that particularly annoys me.

i very much dislike when people pin memes that are supposed to be inspirational (i guess?), and (1) they are so obvious you wonder why anyone wasted the time to create one, let alone re-pin it and/or (2) they have a glaring grammatical error on them.

picture a pin of a young girl with mascara streaked cheeks.  the picture is in black and white and there's an artsy font below her that reads, "the one who's worth it won't make you cry."  like COME ON, are you kidding me?  you needed to pin that so you won't forget?  i mean, it's kind of obvious that you should strive to date a guy who isn't a complete asshole, right?  do you need to pin that reminder to a board?

or a picture with the same girl only now she's looking into a mirror, studying her reflection and the font reads, "you're worth it."  or maybe it reads "your worth it" (see #2 above).  i think that's great.  i believe you are worth it... i just think it's silly to pin that stupid picture.

i am all about re-pinning delicious appetizer recipes and time-saving cleaning techniques.  i love me some pictures of adorably decorated nurseries and kids' rooms.  i can get behind pictures of esty prints with inspirational quotes on them (provided they don't violate #'s 1 or 2 above).  but i just beg you, people of the interwebs: give up your obsession with these horrible memes.  

Porkloin du gym bag.

this post might appropriately fall into the "you had to be there to appreciate it" type stories, but i'm sharing anyway. 

last night something funny happened in the kitchen.

when i got home, john was cooking dinner.  (that was not the "funny" part; john cooks most of the dinners in our house.)  when i walked on, there were potatoes boiling on the stove, gravy prepping in a pot, corn on the counter, and a porkloin in the oven.  i went upstairs to change clothes and when i came back, john asked if the porkloin smelled weird.

i opened the oven and sniffed, but between the heat burning my nostril hair and the rampant pregnancy hormones, i didn't feel like i could really give an accurate analysis.  "did it smell weird when you opened it?" i asked.  "i don't know," was the response.

so, we continued prepping dinner and soon enough the porkloin was done.  john retrieved it from the oven, let it cool and then sliced into it.  he took one bite and it was apparent that even though we were within the sell-by date, the eat-by date had clearly passed us by. 

the smell of the porkloin permeated the kitchen, and my nostrils were filled with the aroma of my husband's gym bag.  what?  ball-sweat-porkloin isn't a delicacy at your house?  we were both staring at each other, wondering what we could quickly whip up to salvage this situation, when i exclaimed, "ok, get that thing out of here.  it's HORRIBLE."  john wrapped up the porkloin and took it out to the trash can in the garage. 

when he came back, he had the look of a man determined.  "i'm going to turn this into a dinner you will love," he said.  and with that, he set about making a real "dubuque original," as he described it.  7 minutes (or so) later, we were enjoying...

image from here.

open-faced turkey sandwiches.  they were delicious.  and while john lamented the porkloin, i reminded him that this was exactly the sort of material we needed to gather to laugh about when we're 75.

on keeping it real.

i am in trial this week.  which means i am a HUGE BITCH (in general), my office is an atrocious mess (much like my kitchen - which i totally do not have the energy to clean right now) and i have to choose between going over my exhibits again or showering.

and then i am hit with the realization that i skipped the shower this morning.  and i must shower tomorrow.  because that is the PROFESSIONAL thing to do.

today i was locked (not so much literally, but definitely figuratively) in a conference room preparing my client for trial for over six hours.  yes, you read that right.  without a break for lunch.  which means that by the time i emerged from that swampy room, starving, defeated and feeling beyond nauseous, i had to spit in a cup on the way to the restroom (literally, not so much figuratively) to keep from throwing up right then and there.

it is all in the name of JUSTICE, however.

which brings me to my next point: where is the justice in denying me independent wealth such that i could spend all day snuggling with my sweet baby boy and watching downtown abbey?  TRAVESTY.  GRAVE INJUSTICE.

"you better stay home."

sick of feeling... so sick... all day and every day, i decided to make a pit stop at hartig's on my way to work this morning.  i brought my saltine's, lemon drops and copious amounts of vitmain B6 to the register to check out, and the clerk looks at everything, glances at me dressed in my courtroom best and says, "honey, if you have the flu, none of this is going to work.  you better stay home."

my thoughts exactly!

Gender predictor

If you're pregnant, anxious and can't wait to find out the sex of the baby freestylin' in your uterus, you might want to check out this site.  I did, and my suspicions are confirmed.  I am having a girl.  Obviously.  Because THE INTERNETS DON'T LIE.

These are my full results.

The day you deliver, outside will be bright. Your baby will arrive in the late morning. After a labor lasting approximately 15 hours, your child, a girl, will be born. Your baby will weigh about 15 pounds, 1 ounces, and will be 17-1/2 inches long. This child will have medium blue eyes and curly brown hair.

A 15 lb. baby, Madame Z?  Ooooh, I'm hurting just thinking about that! :)

oh, the thinks he can think!

"chugga chugga choo choo! train!"

oh the thinks he can think if only he tries... jack's imagination has been cracking me up as of late.  the little bugger is hilarious with his little schemes lately.  the other day, he was eating chips and he picks up one that looks a little like a truck.  he starts yelling "momma! truck! vroom - vroom!"  he was so proud of himself, and  i couldn't help but laugh at his little antics.

he's at such a fun age.  a fun age where an ordinary cardboard box becomes a train station, providing endless entertainment for HOURS!  whenever he'd push the train into the "station," he'd yell, "oh no! train hiding?  where go, momma?"  then he'd push it through and giggle hysterically.  

his other go-to favorite in his bag of tricks is pretending that anything he puts on his head is a hat.  play kitchen plates, baskets, buckets or legos... doesn't really matter.  the same rueful grin, the same proud exclamation... "HAT!"  i love seeing how creative he can be and watching his little eyes light up when he makes those connections.

he's also been drawing some sidewalk chalk and marker masterpieces.  the other day he was making an intricate piece of art with a variety of colors and dots in a circle.  i asked him what it was and he said "flower!"  it did sort of resemble a flower, but i guess i might be biased in favor of my little artiste!

this weekend we made pancakes for breakfast.  when i asked jack what he wanted for breakfast, he kept saying "green eggs, green eggs."  we have been reading a lot of green eggs and ham as of late.  i added a little food coloring and made some green or, according to jack, "BLUE CAKES!"  he loved them and even called grandma on his pretend phone to tell her about it. "hey-row ahma!  ummmm... ummmm... blue cakes! bye."

the blue cakes don't really look that appetizing, i realize, and i can't attest to that because the little grape-sized inhabitant of my uterus has taken a decided dislike of most foods in general, but particularly pancakes and syrup... at least as of sunday.  anyway, my little man ate a whole stack and asked for seconds.  guess all that thinking works up quite an appetite!

reflections from a cynical observer.

i'm not going to get all political here.  maybe just a little bit, for just a minute.  mostly because i just saw something on someone's facebook status that got me all sorts of riled up. 

i know people have been having a hey dey with the chik-fil-a nonsense.  and i've stayed out of the whole bit because while i think the big wig's comments are INSANELY STUPID, ridiculous and completed bigoted, i really do like their chicken salad.  and i can't say i'll never frequent another establishment because ... you know... we sometimes plan fueger family vacations around chik-fil-a locations.

but anyway - upon reading some commentary about this seemingly never-ending chik-fil-a debacle, i read someone's "heartfelt" comment on it.  "i have gay friends.  i just don't support gay marriage." 

ummm... no, you frickin' don't.  i don't believe that for one minute.  i'm sorry - i don't.  if you have a TRUE friendship with someone who is gay, then you support gay marriage.  it's just as simple as that.  because if you truly loved that person, you would want them to be as happy as they could be.  and if happiness meant marriage to them, you'd want that for them.

stepping down off soapbox.  ok, rant over.  i just had to get that off my chest.  hope you all have a great weekend!